Bottom of a Bottle
by Failure Turtle
Summary: In rehab, Sandman looks back and wonders why he's there in the first place. A Sandman centric one shot. By request


**A/N: This would be in Sandman's POV, just so you know.**

**Ah yes, this was by request from Madame Reject.**

I'm not a motivational speaker. I don't try to be. Hell, I'm the last guy to stand up and defend what I do. Why should I? I don't owe anything to anyone.

Then again, I guess that it's my fault that I'm where I am. Without a job…without a home…

In rehab.

I'm not going to lie. I'm fucking scared shitless.

I don't know why I do the things that I do sometimes. Is there something wrong with me? I don't know. I guess that's why I'm here.

It doesn't help that _she_ wanted me to be here, too. That "she" is my girlfriend. Her name isn't important. Actually, I'm trying not to think about her very much. I mean, yeah, she was great after my divorce. But now? She's a raging bitch. She told me that I need to "work things out and deal with my issues alone."

What does she know?

_Been scared and lonely  
I've asked myself  
"Is something wrong with you"  
My girlfriend told me  
I need some time alone to deal with issues _

I guess that I'm what you would call…unconventional. She told me to deal with my issues, so I bought a twelve pack of beer. Unconventional? You're damn right.

I don't understand why I'm here, really. How is alcoholism a disease that requires rehabilitation clinic?

I look at it from a different light.

People are always sent to rehab for so-called "addictions." Okay, that's great. But look at it from my perspective. I like to drink. Is that so wrong? Just because it harms me, does that really mean I need to be shut in a room with absolutely no connection to the outside world?

Ah, but I'm not quite done with my perspective yet.

A lot of people just sit and watch television, turning into fucking vegetables. Is that considered harming themselves? Yes. Are they sent to rehab for entertaining themselves? No, they aren't. When I drink, I'm entertained, so put me in the same boat as them. Well, stick me on the same couch as them, at least. I don't think they'd like being on boats with no cable. At least I work out and get active, which is more than I can say for them.

_But something makes me carry on  
It's difficult to understand  
What I always want to find  
I do it for the drugs  
I do it just to feel alive  
I do it for the love  
That I get from the bottom of a bottle _

I've wanted to give up many times in my life, but I haven't. The two things that kept me going were wrestling and beer.

Is that so hard to understand? Maybe, but spend a night at a bar with me, and then you'll get it.

Some people play video games to relax. Maybe they read a book. I drink to relax, and I get sent to rehab.

In that case, why don't you just stick JK Rowling in here with me? I'm sure she's made a lot of people relax with her wonderful books.

_You always call me  
And ask me how I make it through the day  
I'm always falling  
I guess it's just God's way of  
Making me big _

Do you want to know the real reason that I drink so much?

When I finish a nice sixer, it feels like a great accomplishment. I just fit a bunch of alcohol in me without puking. Granted, I've done that many, many times.

I know, it seems kind of like something a frat boy would say, but it goes deeper than that.

An empty bottle can't yell at you. It won't argue back. Like after you have sex with your girl, she'll whine at you to take out the garbage or fix something that she broke. A beer can won't do that to you. You can crush it. You can throw it out. You can toss it out of your car window, and it won't say anything back to you.

It's therapeutic.

I really think that they should use it as a form of rehab here. But I think that would kind of defeat the purpose of me being here.

I can dream, can't I?

_Something makes me carry on  
It's difficult to understand  
What I always want to find  
I do it for the drugs  
I do it just to feel alive   
I do it for the love  
That I get from the bottom of a bottle   
I do it for the drugs  
I do it just to feel alive  
I do it for the love  
That I get from the bottom of a bottle _

Yeah, I've been down in my life before. Who hasn't? There's been times in my life that I've just wanted to hang up the wrestling boots, crawl into a deep hole, and die. No one would miss me, right?

Wrong.

I have a duty to the fans. I have a duty to myself. If I don't go out there, my cable bill won't get paid. My hotels wouldn't get covered.

I couldn't buy some Miller Lite and go drink with Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Every time I've been down, I just pop open a can of beer. That sound the can makes when you open it up…that's music to my ears. The sweet liquor inside can soothe even the most rabid beast.

No matter what, no matter what bullshit comes in and out of my life, my beer will always be there. It won't run away. It won't call me names. It won't throw it's engagement ring back at me. I can drink it when I want. I have complete control over it.

It's my best friend.

_And I  
I wonder why I try  
And I  
Wonder why I bother  
And I  
I wonder why I cry  
Why I  
I go through all this trouble _  
_I do it for the drugs  
I do it just to feel alive  
I do it for the love  
That I get from the bottom of a bottle _

I've been told that alcohol is a double edged sword. If that's the case…

_  
I do it for the drugs  
I do it just to feel alive  
I do it for the love  
That I get from the bottom of a bottle_

Then it's a risk I'm willing to take.

**A/N: I tried to look at it from an alcoholic's point of view. For the record, I hate beer. Odd, though…coming from Wisconsin and hating beer…Yuck.**

**Review.**

**Oh, I hoped you liked it, Chic.**


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